Six Weeks

I can't believe that my baby is six weeks old. I also can't believe how wonderful but HARD it is to be a mom. I think there must be a secret motherhood pact that says no mother tells any soon-to-be mother any details of exactly how hard it is to have a baby. And I don't mean just pushing the baby out. I mean having a baby that you are totally responsible for. I was debating whether to go into detail about the challenges of being a new mom. Just in case there is a secret pact that I wasn't informed about, I don't want to risk breaking it. Instead I will just leave you with this quote from a book that saved my sanity the first few weeks with a new baby. I would recommend this book to every new mom. I wish I had read it before I had Kellyn just so I was prepared. But you may want to wait until you are up three times in the middle of the night feeding a baby and just read it then. Reading can take the place of that thing you used to do called sleeping. It's called "The Girlfriends Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood" by Vicky Lovine. So here's a list from the beginning of her book. This kind of sums up my experience.

Top-Ten Biggest Shocks of Childbirth

10. How big you really got during pregnancy

9. How fat you still are when you leave the hospital

8. How messy childbirth and recovery are (she's not kidding...)

7. How frightened you are of ever having a bowel movement again in this lifetime

6. How fat your face looks in the delivery room videos and photos

5. How certain you are that you will never want sex again
4. How irresponsible the hospital was to have released this precious baby into your care, considering you'd never even changed a diaper until yesterday

3. How complicated nursing a baby really is

2. How overwhelming your devotion and enslavement to the baby are already

1. How nobody ever told you how much it really hurts to have a baby

Hopefully that doesn't scare any of you potential moms too badly. I think I know the real reason why mothers didn't tell me how hard it is. I think that you forget because it gets so good after the initial shock wears off. After six weeks I feel one million times better and I really love it. In fact, I think I'm even getting used to the idea of maybe having another child...someday...in the distant future. So here are some pictures of Kellyn from the past six weeks. She is growing so fast. And I am officially one of those people now who thinks everything their child does, whether it's smiling or blinking or moving her little finger, is the cutest thing in the world. My blog will now be filled with pictures that I think are adorable and everyone else thinks are pretty boring. But it's my blog so I can do whatever I want. Here she is!

Another newborn picture from the hospital

Wearing sunglasses at Aunt Jenny's wedding and not happy about it...hence the pouty lip.

Freezing after bath time
Hanging out in the swingKellyn and Uncle AndrewI finally caught her kind of smiling on camera. As soon as I get the camera out she quits doing whatever cute thing she was doing. She is wearing a dress her Great Grandma gave her. These are the kind of dresses my mother tortured me with as a child and now I'm doing it to Kellyn too. Poor child.
GO UTES! Unfortunately she may turn out to be a BYU fan. When I was first trying to take a picture of her in this outfit she was screaming. She wore herself out so I took this while she was sleeping. Maybe all the Happy Valley air is getting to her...



Kellyn and Dad

Our Baby Story...Finally

Note: I wrote this post a few days after I had Kellyn. It has taken me three weeks to get the energy to add some pictures and click on "publish post." Mommyhood is a lot harder and busier than I thought. I have lots more to write about since this post but I'm tired...more to come later.

I gave birth on Wednesday August 19th. Nothing prepared me for what a powerful experience that would be. I'm not even sure how to describe it or where to begin. I think instead of trying to describe my feelings about this sacred experience, I'll just give some technical details and show some pictures for my blogging friends. The rest of it I think I'll keep to myself for now. Although I'm nervous about this huge responsibility, I am so grateful that my life just changed forever because Heavenly Father entrusted us with this beautiful baby.

DETAILS: No induction was necessary, thankfully. On Monday the 17th I started having contractions while eating at the Olive Garden with my mom. I think our waiter was confused as to why I was clutching the edges of the table and making weird faces. From 12:00 p.m. Monday until 1:33 a.m. on Wednesday I was in labor. That is 37 hrs. and 3 min. in case you were curious. I stayed home until Tuesday morning when we went to the hospital. I labored all day at the hospital and ended up not progressing for about 6 hours so we decided to try a pitocin drip. That did the trick and kept me going. She also was in a posterior position which means she was facing my belly button instead of my back. That made labor longer and pushing the baby out more difficult. So, to make a long 37 hours short, I made it! For some reason I have had a life long goal to have an unmedicated childbirth and, despite the challenges, I was able to do it. I still can't believe that I made it. It was not what I expected and was really hard. I definitely couldn't have done it alone and am so grateful for Jared, my supportive family, AMAZING midwives, and most of all my Heavenly Father. I can't believe she's actually here! We are so happy!

This is Kellyn and I right after she finally came out! Sorry it's a little revealing with my shoulder and all. (If you're grossed out, just be glad I didn't post a picture of the placenta or something...) As you can see, I was exhausted. I hadn't slept in two days and I couldn't believe I was finally holding our baby. Jared and Kellyn. I don't know who was more tired, Jared or me.

Just a little while after she was born. She looks pretty tired too...I guess all three of us had a pretty long couple days.

Getting ready to go home from the hospital. It was the scariest feeling to be going home. I still can't believe they let us take her home without passing some parenting test or giving us a baby instruction manual. But so far we're making it. I think that's what Grandmas are for.

It's a Girl!

I sent out a mass text after I had the baby but I don't think a lot of you got it. Sorry--I tried! I had Kellyn May on Wednesday morning at 1:33 A.M. I feel like I haven't slept all week so while she is sleeping I'm going to try to do the same. I will post more details when I don't feel like a zombie (a happy zombie though.) For a picture and a few more details check out Grandma Debbie's blog here. More to come!

And waiting...

. . .

Still waiting...

...and waiting and waiting and waiting. Induction is set for the 20th. Let's hope we don't make it that far.

FINALLY!

The moment we've all been waiting for! Black Rat finally got her stitches out. We are officially done with exotic vet visits...for now. Oh you thought I had the baby? Nope...still waiting...

Am I still Pregnant?

Yes I am! I've come to terms with the fact that I may be giving birth to an 18 pound baby. I have been feeling more optimistic, however. These extra days of pregnancy just mean more sleep, a few less diapers to buy, and more time just me and Jared. Last night as I laid on our mattress on the living room floor, I looked around at our tiny, messy, cinder-block-walled, one bedroom apartment and I realized that we will never have this time back. Things are about to change forever. So I'm going to enjoy these last few days of our simple life while I look forward to the next stage. (But seriously Baby M...any day would be great.)